Archibald James Campbell

I’ve been wanting to write Archie’s birth story since the moment he was born. However, I have barely been able to string two words together let alone write in punctuated paragraphs. Eight weeks later, while Charlotte and Archie are asleep, I’m giving it a go. Continue reading “Archibald James Campbell”

Will my heart feel whole again?

My history with grief

Up until Esme died, I was very fortunate that the only grief I had experienced was that of losing three grandparents. Continue reading “Will my heart feel whole again?”

Third Trimester

Here I am, well into my third trimester with a big bump, a waddle to be proud of and the wonderful feeling of strong kicks throughout the day. For weeks, months, even years, I have dreamt of being this pregnant. There is such a big sense of achievement, relief and hope that comes with being in my ninth month of pregnancy. Continue reading “Third Trimester”

Motherhood and Anxiety

Living with my anxiety: intolerance of uncertainty

By finding the courage to share my anxieties, I realise that I’m not alone and that it’s perfectly normal and natural to have those thoughts. I guess they only lead to anxiety when I keep replaying them, I don’t share them, I hide away from them and I don’t think about what it is that is really troubling me or causing me to worry. Continue reading “Motherhood and Anxiety”

Tackling Anxiety

Realising I was mentally unwell

Although I wasn’t aware of it, my anxiety had probably been building up for a number of years, but only came to a head when I was in my fourth year of teaching mainstream education. By Christmas, 2013, I had reached my limit. I found it difficult to cope with all the unnecessary additional pressure of teaching. Continue reading “Tackling Anxiety”

Just Another Day

Just another day

Just another day. That little phrase sounds so simple, so easy. However, as I learn to overcome my anxiety, cope with grief and surviving pregnancy after prematurity and baby loss, that day can either feel like climbing a mountain or a warm summer’s breeze. Continue reading “Just Another Day”


In the November after bringing Charlotte home a dear friend taught me how to knit. I needed something to do during the hours while Charlotte napped. My Mum had always advised sleeping while your baby sleeps but I have never been good at daytime napping and, despite being emotionally exhausted from the pain of losing Esme, my mind felt too on edge to sleep. Continue reading “Survival”