I am Amy Campbell. I am a wife, a mother of twins, Charlotte, my little warrior and Esme, my bright star, who was born on the 10th July 2016 and died 30th August 2016. I live in Yorkshire with my husband, Connor, my children Charlotte and Archie and my two Labradors, Hattie and Mila.
Charlotte and Esme were born two and half hours shy of 27 weeks, i.e. 3 months early. Between the pair of them, they had a very rocky start to life but showed nothing but courage, fight, determination and love. Sadly at seven weeks, Esme died due to her extreme prematurity, septicaemia and Ventriculitis. Charlotte is now one years old and continues to be my little warrior.
Over the summer of 2016, I began to learn how to put my brave face on. A face which focuses on the now. An optimistic face and one which never gives up on hope. A face which shows the world I’m brave, strong and hanging on in there. A face which pushes my darkest fears to the back of my mind. One which encourages the mind to think, ‘everything’s going to be ok’.
This blog is about learning who I truly am, when my most feared nightmares became my reality. I have been lucky that I have Charlotte. My amazing girl who makes me smile, who makes me feel alive and who, each day inspires me to put one foot in front of the other. With an open heart, I will share with you the story of my journey into motherhood.
Beginning this blog feels like ‘I am turning an end into a beginning’. It is a good process for me and a way to channel my thoughts. It will give me the time to think about and acknowledge what happened during the summer of 2016, as when I was in the thick of it, it was all about surviving each day and praying and hoping everything to be ok. When I write, I feel like I can let go, where I can find inner strength and then continue getting through the day and being the best mummy I can.
From experiencing being pregnant with twins, to Twin 1’s (Charlotte’s) waters going at 24 weeks, to being a mummy to extremely premature twins and living a summer in the neonatal ward, to experiencing a loss, to taking home a baby on oxygen, to raising a warrior and now to surviving pregnancy after loss, I hope that by opening my heart I can raise awareness of prematurity, reach out to those who have been on a similar journey or help to support others who may be currently facing adversity. Or if you are interested in my story and just fancy reading my blog, I am honoured.
I have loved writing the words ‘my Campbellinas’, as for the first time since Esme died, I have been able to think about and remember how it was when they were both here. They were my little Campbellinas. I suppose they always will be but now the name is shared in a different light. In memory of Esme and the amazing support we received from the Leeds Neonatal team we set up a non-profitable organisation called ‘Campbellinas’. It has been set up to raise money to help support neonatal units.
To find out more about Campbellinas, please visit the website http://www.campbellinas.com or Facebook page.