Leaving my girl behind

Leaving my girl behind

“I didn’t want to leave her behind.”

All day yesterday, I had been thinking deep thoughts about what I was doing with my life, other than ‘being mum’. The main thought being, “Why did I feel this need, urge and dedication to be connected to the neonatal unit?” Continue reading “Leaving my girl behind”

Am I ok?

Pre-school

I didn’t intend Charlotte to start pre-school until next March, 2019. I wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool for another winter, have another year of allowing her lungs to become stronger and protect her from catching any nasty coughs or colds. I hoped to avoid her being admitted to hospital again this winter. Continue reading “Am I ok?”

Sleep Training

How did I come to the decision to sleep train Archie?

As far as I can remember, I didn’t have any problems with sleep with Charlotte. I’m pretty certain she went to having just one feed at around 3 or 4am at an early age and didn’t experience any four month sleep regression. From memory, I got a good night’s sleep, well at least enough hours under my belt to be able to function and string a sentence together.

Archie, on the other hand, just about broke me. Continue reading “Sleep Training”

Archibald James Campbell

I’ve been wanting to write Archie’s birth story since the moment he was born. However, I have barely been able to string two words together let alone write in punctuated paragraphs. Eight weeks later, while Charlotte and Archie are asleep, I’m giving it a go. Continue reading “Archibald James Campbell”

Will my heart feel whole again?

My history with grief

Up until Esme died, I was very fortunate that the only grief I had experienced was that of losing three grandparents. Continue reading “Will my heart feel whole again?”

Third Trimester

Here I am, well into my third trimester with a big bump, a waddle to be proud of and the wonderful feeling of strong kicks throughout the day. For weeks, months, even years, I have dreamt of being this pregnant. There is such a big sense of achievement, relief and hope that comes with being in my ninth month of pregnancy. Continue reading “Third Trimester”

Motherhood and Anxiety

Living with my anxiety: intolerance of uncertainty

By finding the courage to share my anxieties, I realise that I’m not alone and that it’s perfectly normal and natural to have those thoughts. I guess they only lead to anxiety when I keep replaying them, I don’t share them, I hide away from them and I don’t think about what it is that is really troubling me or causing me to worry. Continue reading “Motherhood and Anxiety”