At the end of September the outreach nurse came to see me and said that we would now be looking at the next stages of preparing Charlotte to go home. I never thought I would ever hear anyone say that. It was a distant dream. Continue reading “The home straight”
I have written all my blog from memory and surprised myself that I could remember every day, sometimes every hour, every minute. As I wrote I relived every painful second and experienced the heart palpitations, the dizziness, the sickness and the fear. Continue reading “My Warrior”
Monday,12th September, 2016
After returning from the hospital that afternoon, I gathered all the things I had collected to decorate the village hall and walked down, ready to meet my girlfriends, Connor and my sister. Continue reading “Esme’s Day”
‘Connor and I focused all our energies on Charlotte. We were now a family of three. I struggled with the mornings and evenings and often wandered around the house feeling lost and empty. Continue reading “Finding our feet”
Friday 2nd September
Driving to the hospital, I started to make arrangements for Esme’s funeral. Continue reading “The proudest walk of my life”
Wednesday 31st August
I was giving Charlotte a big cuddle when my mother in law arrived. She was flying back to Northern Ireland later that day and wanted to see her granddaughter. Charlotte was rather wriggly on my chest, compared to her usual cuddle, when she would just snuggle and sleep. Continue reading “I did get to hold my twin girls”
As I opened my eyes later that morning, there was a star shaped beam of light around the bedroom window. The central ray travelled across the bedroom and went directly over my head. Continue reading “Tuesday 30th August 2016”
After finishing my writing with Esme, I felt much better. I felt a weight had been lifted knowing I had captured everything I wanted to remember about her. A piece of writing about my baby girl that would stay with me for life. Continue reading “My Esme”
My Bright Shining Star
Written by Mummy and Esme, 29/08/2016, 03:25am Continue reading “My Bright Shining Star”
Would I ever know when the right time was to take Esme off the ventilator? When I made that decision, I would know that the next day and the rest of my days, I would never get to hold her, see her, hear her or watch her grow up. She would be gone but not gone from my heart. Continue reading “The Christening”
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