Just another day
Just another day. That little phrase sounds so simple, so easy. However, as I learn to overcome my anxiety, cope with grief and surviving pregnancy after prematurity and baby loss, that day can either feel like climbing a mountain or a warm summer’s breeze. Continue reading “Just Another Day” →
“Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass…it’s about learning how to dance in the rain!”
Vivian Greene Continue reading “Learning to dance in the rain” →
In the November after bringing Charlotte home a dear friend taught me how to knit. I needed something to do during the hours while Charlotte napped. My Mum had always advised sleeping while your baby sleeps but I have never been good at daytime napping and, despite being emotionally exhausted from the pain of losing Esme, my mind felt too on edge to sleep. Continue reading “Survival” →
As soon as the girls were born I felt broody. It didn’t feel natural and that often made me confused. I had given birth to my girls, they were here with me, so why was I experiencing this overwhelming feeling of broodiness? Continue reading “Hope” →
Gaining control of my life
Fifteen months after saying goodbye to Esme, I feel like a different person. Despite enduring the toughest few years of my life, I am in the best emotional place I have ever been. I feel in touch with my mind and emotions and able to listen to what my body is telling me. Continue reading “Turning a corner” →
June was a big month for spending time away from Charlotte.
As much as I dreaded leaving her and working full time for the next seven weeks, returning to work wasn’t as bad as I thought. The hardest part of the day was saying goodbye to Charlotte and I would have to play the radio very loud for the first five minutes of the journey. Continue reading “A First for Everything – Summer” →
At the start of the month I began my bereavement counselling. I was a nervous wreck before my first session and I didn’t know what to expect. I congratulated myself for arriving with plenty of time to spare, had a drink of water, reapplied my favourite lipstick and stepped out of the car. Continue reading “A First for Everything – Spring” →
Our first year without Esme.
On many occasions during the first year without Esme, I was anxious about life without her or thought that I should be spending the day with both of my daughters or worried about how I would cope, especially if I wasn’t in the comfort of my own home. Continue reading “A First for Everything – Autumn & Winter” →
In the initial weeks after bringing Charlotte home, I put stars up all over our house. Just like I felt closer to Esme when I was out walking the dogs, seeing the stars everywhere in the house made me feel closer to her indoors. Continue reading “Still a Mummy of Twins” →
22nd September 2016
I’m afraid to tell you, that you have created a ridge between myself and my husband. I hate you for it. You are the one thing that I want to talk to my husband all about but he won’t let me. Continue reading “For my husband” →